28 Things Learned in 28 Years

#9: Don’t freak out if you feel like you don’t have it all together

Ashley Mattice
7 min readMar 4, 2020
Photo by Felicia Buitenwerf on Unsplash

I turned 29 on Monday. My birthday made me reflect on all of the discoveries, hard lessons, and realizations I have made so far in 28 years on this planet. Enjoy!

#1: When you are gone 10+ hours a day, it isn’t fair to your pets

I want nothing more then to have a dog or parrot to come home to. However, pets require attention, care, and love. You can’t get a pet that depends on interaction from you and stick it in a cage all day. That isn’t fair.

#2: What you put into your body matters

When I was younger, I loved nothing more then inhaling McDonald’s double cheeseburgers, ice cream topped with chocolate syrup and sprinkles, and soda. The best thing was, I had no adverse side effects.

If I tried to do that now, I wouldn’t be able to function for days.

#3: You meet some of the best people when you are authentic

I have met some of the best people and had the most amazing conversations when I didn’t hold any part of myself back. If those are the right people to have in your life, they will love who you are and want to stick around.

#4: Jealousy will ruin your relationship

I almost ruined the most important relationship in my life with jealousy. Once you realize that jealousy is because you feel inadequate with yourself, you can work more on yourself.

Spend time working on yourself instead of being jealous of what others have or who they are. You can be great too if you put the work in.

#5: Best thing to do when you don’t feel well: Exercise

I’m not saying go to the gym when you have the flu, but if you are feeling mentally drained, a visit to the gym helps a ton. It gets the blood flowing and helps clear your mind. It gives you something to focus on instead of the drama that has been plaguing you.

#6: Go to the damn dentist when you are supposed to

Super embarrassing, but I didn’t go to the dentist for a few years. I was forced to go in for a cleaning when the side of one of my molars turned black. Was close to needing a root canal, but ended up with only a filling.

Go to the dentist every 6 months. Trust me, it helps avoid a lot of unnecessary issues and pain.

#7: People aren’t judging you as much as you think

Have you ever said something embarrassing? Or tripped while walking and prayed that no one saw?

Trust me, people are so absorbed with themselves and their phones that they probably didn’t even hear what you said. And they most likely didn’t see you trip either.

So no worries. Your embarrassing moment has most likely gone undetected!

#8: People will walk out of your life, and you will walk out on people too

It hurts at first, but this is one of the best things that can happen to you. When people leave your life, they are making room for the people that are meant to be there. It’s a good thing.

If having someone in your life causes more stress then joy, it may be time for change. And just remember, if you have checked out of the friendship or relationship, you are doing the person a disservice by staying. Leave their life so they can have time for the people they are meant to have.

#9: Don’t freak out if you feel like you don’t have it all together

I’ve discovered that no one has it all together. It is easy nowadays to see people on social media and wonder how the heck they do everything and have so much.

What I realized is that people only post the good stuff. They don’t post when they are struggling, or when the house is a mess.

So, just focus on you and what you can do to improve and you will be fine.

#10: You don’t need to have kids

I grew up thinking I wanted to have kids. Come to find out, I only thought that way because I grew up being told that I will have kids one day.

At this point, I’m pretty firm on not wanting kids. I am focused on wanting to do other things in life that don’t involve kids.

And that is ok. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for wanting to live the life you want.

#11: Trade school and certificates are great alternatives to college

Don’t go into debt for a degree you aren’t even sure about.

Explore different options like trade schools and certificates. They can usually be completed faster, are cheaper, and can help you land a job where you can make a good living.

#12: Don’t settle for a relationship just because you’re comfortable

I have done this a few times. It is easier to stay in a relationship with someone you know instead of breaking up and putting yourself out there again.

But if you feel in your heart that you aren’t meant to be someone anymore, the best thing you can do for yourself and that person, is to call it quits. No one wants to be with someone that is only there because of comfort.

#13: Leftover Buffalo Wild Wings is the breakfast of champions

This might just be me, but there is nothing better then honey BBQ boneless wings at 8am to start the day.

#14: Don’t seriously date until at least one of you has your own place

It is tricky to seriously date someone without spending too much time at one of your parents houses. It can cause a lot of tension and you don’t get the alone time that is needed to help a healthy relationship grow.

#15: Small changes are better then none at all

I have always struggled with focusing on making huge changes and not how a lot of small changes can benefit me even more.

Do not underestimate small changes and steps to reach a goal. They are more helpful then you realize.

#16: Always try your best to make time for activities you care about

Life is busy and there are always going to be demands for your time, but make yourself a priority. Always make sure you are doing something you enjoy at least a few times a week.

#17: If something feels wrong, it probably is. Run for it.

I still struggle with this one, but I’m working on it. Just trust your gut. It won’t steer you wrong.

#18: You spend way more time on your phone then you think.

Apple has a nifty feature that tells you how many hours you spend on your phone a day. It is not uncommon for me to have 6+ hours of screen time a day.

That is way too much. Get off your phone and go live in the real world. You won’t be sorry.

#19: Instant gratification is not all its cracked up to be

Getting all those likes on social media may feel great at first, but the issue is that we come to depend on it. When we don’t get noticed on social media right away, we start to feel anxious and upset.

If you post something that doesn’t get traction right away, no worries. Your worth is not determined by the likes and attention you get online.

#20: Life can change in the blink of an eye

When my mom passed away unexpectedly in 2013, my whole life changed. There was no warning. One day she was here, and the next day she was gone.

So don’t become complacent or take things for granted. So much can change in a short amount of time.

#21: Your phone doesn’t need to be glued to your hand

Contrary to what people say, you do not need to be available at all times. Spend some time with loved ones without your phone. You will be present and the people in your life will appreciate it.

#22: A snowball fight as an adult is a blast

There is something about running around in the snow and pelting each other with snowballs that is so much fun. If you live in a state that gets snow, try it sometime.

#23: Put extra money toward your debts

This is huge. Do your best to pay down debt as quickly as possible so you can avoid losing money to interest.

Even an extra $20 put toward your debt can make a difference.

#24: Fast food isn’t as cheap as it used to be

Does anyone else miss the days when hitting the drive-thru was cheap? I sure do.

#25: Spend more time reading and writing

Reading and writing are both great ways to disconnect from life and tap into your creative side.

#26: Research what car you want and how much you want to spend BEFORE going to the dealership

Lets just say a younger version of myself put her trust in a car salesman. And got screwed over.

Do your research, know what you are capable of paying, and do not be afraid to ask for a deal. Or just walk out and go somewhere else.

#27: Do not compare yourself to others

This is a great way to tank your self-esteem and make you feel like you aren’t where you are supposed to be. Don’t do that to yourself.

#28: Slow down and enjoy life as much as you can

Life moves fast but that doesn’t mean you have to speed along and miss everything. Slow down, breathe, and enjoy what life has to offer.

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Ashley Mattice

Writing about all kinds of life stuff. Sharing my experiences to help and inspire others. ashleymattice.com